Resolutions

The New Year and I have never got along. For me, it signals the end. The end of a year in which I’ve known exactly what it held and also the end of fun and frivolities over the Christmas break.

In my mind the beginning of the New Year sees me alone, covered in remnants of old glitter and always cold as the temperature inevitably dips. For me, there is an invisible line. Whilst we’re in December on this side of New Year, life is about the here and now. I dance with wild abandon, as I laugh and sing through life. But as soon as that clock ticks past midnight the dam that I’ve unconsciously placed in front of all of my worries and anxieties bursts and it all comes flooding back.

For all these reasons New Years Resolutions have never featured highly in my January to-do list. However, this year – possibly for the first time in my life I’ve done something for me. I’ve grasped the reins of my own life and made decisions for me, based solely on what I want out of life. It has been freeing. And so, in 2019 I’m trying to be more positive. I’m trying very hard to see the New Year as a beginning, not an end. And so, I’m going out on a limb and I’m making some resolutions….

1. Be Healthier

One resolution I’ve often made in the past is ‘lose weight’. The emphasis is then placed on the scales and if they don’t budge I lose heart and motivation. So, I aim to be healthier. I have a poor relationship with food, I comfort eat when times are tough and I snack poorly when I’m busy (which is most of the time). Now I have children, (especially now I have a daughter) I’m keen to not pass my bad habits on to them. I want them to enjoy food in a healthy way. And so, this one is for them as well as me.

2. Don’t Seek Approval

I have a nasty habit of seeking approval for the things I want to do in life. Usually from my parents. I’m 35 now and we’re very different people with very different life experiences and outlooks on life – this needs to stop. I made the first step this year by going back to university and pursuing a dream. This year I need to continue this, be bold in my decision making and only worry about what I think and how it affects my little family.

3. Don’t Fret About What I Can’t Control

I’m terrible at worrying at great length about things that I have absolute no control over. Currently it’s Brexit. I am literally losing sleep over what the future holds, I cannot get over the feeling that we’re teetering on a cliff about to be pushed off. It petrifies me. But I cannot control it. I need to place focus on what I can control.

4. Be a Better Mum

I love my kids, but they’re hard work and when I’m busy I feel I neglect spending quality time with them, especially my eldest as now he’s at school I don’t see him as much as I did. And so, I resolve to leave the hoovering until they’re in bed now and then and take them out somewhere, spend time with them, read them a book or just sit and snuggle.

5. Be Kinder to Myself

Finally, I’m going to be kinder to myself. I spend an inordinate amount of time internally chastising myself for what I haven’t done, instead of being my own cheerleader and applauding what I have done. I will stop the comparisons and be the best I can be, cheering myself all the way.

Five resolutions. All a promise to myself and my family to be better, to do better.

What are your resolutions? Do you believe in making them? Are you a fan of New Year?